I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
