I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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