Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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