you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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