You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
