i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize