Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Text me some of your sweat
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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