i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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