you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All the doctor said was why
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