I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
