Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize