so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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