So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Non-Jews are for practice
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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