Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
