What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
