You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize