I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
