He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
