the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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