i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
