Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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