Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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