the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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