i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ttyl tear gas
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
