those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
