i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
