i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
