i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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