Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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