the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize