theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
