She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Floor bacon is actually really good
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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