the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
