there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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