Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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