and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
