i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
