Only a mothe r could love this liver
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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