i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
