I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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