were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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