I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
