He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
