i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
