Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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