Tell her she can't have a vagina
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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