I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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