i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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