He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
