We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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