put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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