I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
