Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
