Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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