K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize