at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
