why didn't you poke me back
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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