At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
