ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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