last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
