I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
